We just survived vacation. Ana is home for the summer along with her four siblings. Life is challenging to say the least.
The past few days have been very hard for me because of Ana’s CONSTANT behaviors. Nothing she is doing is exceptionally bad or destructive, just constant. With nothing to focus on (like school or a hobby) she spends all of her time annoying people. Being the fine RAD specimen that she is she also takes opportunities to increase the chaos when another child has a bad moment.
I am at the end of my rope. Yesterday we went to her weekly therapist appointment and the therapist acknowledged my feelings, repeatedly told me she believed me (most people don’t), and agreed that there are not many options for Ana. And the few options that are available are grim.
Option 1 – We keep on keeping on
Positives: Ana stays home and continues to build attachments to our family and community
Negatives: Ana stays home and continues to annoy everyone and holds our family prisoner to her behaviors. My marriage deteriorates. My children don’t want to be here.
Option 2 – Ana is placed in a residential facility
Positives: Our family is free from the reign of Ana
Negatives: The only residential centers that will take Ana with her physical disabilities and non-verbal status would crush her soul and leave her a rocking/stemming shell of a child, most likely permanently eradicating any hope of her success as a human being.
Option 3 – Someone qualified to work with Ana appears
Positives: Ana could get the one-on-one she desperately desires. I am freed up to tend to my other children’s needs.
Negatives: We’ve tried for four years to find such a person with no luck. None. Only God could send this person, most likely floating down from the sky by umbrella.
As you can see, the summer is not looking all that good for us. I really get by hour by hour. I am incredibly grateful for the good hours and pray for endurance for the bad ones.
We changed her meds a little bit to see if we can attack the problem from that angle. Hopefully, we’ll get a little relief.
Only 8 more weeks till school is back in session. God grant me the strength….`